Spicy Poems Daily

A Technical Advice

Dr. Jonathan Tafreg

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Post by Jonathan Tafreg on Tue Jan 30, 2018 8:10 am


Long time far back, somewhere in Africa, during the reign of chiefs and tribal leaders; there emerged a small but very powerful chiefdom, Ratura it was called. It was just a small village, but very civilized. People trusted their chiefs and kinsmen; they worshiped their gods whenever they wanted to eat or go for fishing. At a time, it was actually a men’s village. It was a place for fishermen and traders from Gashura and Wabiriga. After several years, few women reached there as whores, and served as communal concubines for all the fishermen.
     The population of fishermen dropped dramatically, some died of sexually transmitted infections, and others were drowned into water during their fishing activities. Jealousy developed among them and consumed their lives. Little had they know, that the very women they were dying for, were not humans, they would have zipped their desires and focus on fishing fish instead of spirits. Few men left decided to marry and abstained from womanizing. Later on, there was peace; all boys aging eighteen were forced to marry before being consumed by the tentacles of adolescence.
     There was a man who married what the rest called an abomination; the man married a barren woman whose breasts were big like buckets. She wept the very day she got married, and now she was very tired, her little round face swollen, wet and shaggy. From a closer look, she was not happy at all for the gods had closed her womb not to bear even a single child for her husband. She was a very shaggy woman, just like any other primate of the jungle, she was much alike the baboons of the inland Ratura. Her breasts were said to weigh almost ten kilos each. She was the ugliest woman on earth; she even scared children when she smiled. No wonder she ended up marrying a handsome fisherman, son of a custodian of the old ways, keeper of the customs of the forefathers. Akisi she was called, daughter of the late Chief Anguro of Gashura.
     Despite all the elements of ugliness, Akisi never wanted to beautify herself to please the public opinion. Her husband, Madusa the fisherman loved her so much. This love was enough for Akisi to consider herself beautiful. Since beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, Madusa left all the girls of Ratura and married Akisi. The man found something interesting about the breasts of Akisi, apart from her breasts, her hairy body stimulated Madusa to the climax. She was dark skinned, natural and well fed. Her morphology like a soldier, pure hearted and smart. She was a woman of principles, who enjoyed no jokes except from her husband, but this time she was really exhausted from the stings of loneliness and infertility. She wanted a child comma; she wanted a child full stop. Madusa was just eighteen when his father Obare married Akisi for him. Obare offered thirty eight bulls, twelve cows, fourteen goats, two canoes, seven hoes and a machete to Chief Anguro as a bride price. Akisi was only twelve at the time, but her breasts were already as big as a pumpkin.
     Chief Anguro had once issued an order to force men to marry her, but men were ready to hang themselves instead of facing what they called an abomination. He even tried to milk her daughter in an attempt to get rid of her breasts, but none of the efforts produced better results. Obare was not an idiot to pay all the expenses for such an ugly woman; he wanted his son to marry a woman who won’t attract the attention of other men in Ratura, especially his fellow fishermen. Akisi was the best choice, but there was a problem with the decision. She was fruitless. After fifteen good years, there came a time when Obare fell ill, all he wanted was to hold his grandchildren before he embraced his ancestors, but Akisi failed to prove an old man right, she instead offered a reason for enmity and mistrust from her in-laws. Obare was disappointed, he demanded Madusa to marry another woman, but the son insisted on believing in the gods, that one day his wife will regain her fruitfulness and bear him hundreds of sons and daughters. The next day Madusa left his compound early in the morning and went on fishing in the nearby Lake Ratura. His heart was not at ease, he recalled his conversation with his father the previous night, and he didn’t want to share the thoughts with his fellow fishermen. He was very distressed and confused. He finally came to a humble conclusion, to pray and wait till the fullness of time.
     It was a very lucky day for Madusa, but for anyone in his shoes, it was not lucky at all. He fished a woman instead of fish. This happened when he was drawing out the nets from the water, his canoe nearly sank, he thought of a shark or a whale, then he thought of a crocodile or a corpse, but reaching the water surface, it was none of it, but a naked woman; freshly naked, with all the pleasures below in a smart display. She was breathing, very alive, tender and splendor. She was not having even a single scar, her breasts like heavenly needles, her waist like the neck of a bottle, her hips like a rainbow, fair in complexion, with long dark hairs like a mermaid, but she was no mermaid, she was just a beautiful woman from the water.
     Madusa was both terrified and happy, where she is coming from terrified the fisherman, but her beauty made him a happier man in the whole terrestrial globe. The idea of marrying her popped in his mind, he asked for her name and the lady answered “Layola”. He took her home, laughter!
     No woman in the shoes of Akisi that would just sit and do nothing when a husband comes back home from job carrying a strange woman instead of food or gifts. It was during the sunset when Madusa arrived home, his sick father was still lying down in his hut, and Akisi had prepared corn cake and was now waiting for her husband to bring fish. When she heard the approaching foot march of her husband, she rushed out to welcome him, it was her custom to welcome her sweetheart that way; but things turned upside down, she nearly fainted when she saw her husband carrying a bare woman.
     Actually, it was very strange, Madusa took his shirt and gave it to Layola to warm her body, but from the waist downwards, she was totally naked and ripe. The commotion from the lake up home had left Madusa erected and helpless. From a professional gaze, he has slept with her before reaching home, judging from the beauty of the woman, no perfect gentleman could have abstained from doing what Akisi was thinking.
     In a twinkling of an eye, Akisi was out of control; she jammed and fumed like a charging lioness. The commotion forced Obare out of his bed and was now crawling like a snake trying to see what the heck was going on. He managed to reach out there only to find his one and only son holding Layola, the sea goddess of wealth and power. Obare died instantly, not because of what he saw, but because of the idiocy of his son for not knowing what to fish and how to fish it. Madusa wept helplessly till his voice dried up. Akisi accused her husband for killing his own father, she left instantly and went inside to pack her things, she didn’t forget to pack her well prepared corn cake, as she was leaving, Layola stopped her. In a very unusual drawling accent, the half naked woman asked:
---Where do you think you’re going?
---Out of my way you evil spirit.
---Poor child! One day you’ll understand these things, you must keep growing, not in your breasts, but your brain. Next time no one will stop you, but mark my words, it’s never a good idea to carry food with you when leaving your husband’s house in that mood. You can starve to death instead of getting help from what you call a well prepared corn cake. I know you girls from Gashura love eating so much, but this is not Gashura, this is Ratura, women don’t cross these walls with food taking to another wall. Leave that cake and you may go in peace, no one will stop you.
     It was another hard moment for Akisi to make sound judgments, trusting the spirit was not an easy path. She then decided to stay, but continued lamenting and blaming everyone for allowing such things to happen. The villagers were very outnumbered and scattered. It wasn’t easy for a neighbor to hear any commotion in the vicinity unless somebody shouted at the top of his voice. Layola insisted not to cry, but Madusa was already in half time, waiting for another half to proceed with weeping. It was getting dark, Madusa stood up and went inside, he took a hoe and a spade, he started digging. Layola joined him, and so did Akisi, they helped Madusa dig a grave for his father.
     Now that Obare was buried already, it was a time to lecture Akisi about Layola. It was a custom that if an old man dies in that manner, people should not weep or tell even the relatives urgently. Although Madusa failed to hold the inevitable, no one in Ratura noticed the incident at the time except Madusa, Akisi and Layola. Akisi prepared dinner, a dry corn cake without a stew. Madusa fumed:
---“Where is fish?” he asked.
---“Are you blind? Can’t you see the naked fish sitting by your side?” she meant Layola. The fisherman jammed, like boiling water, his temper poured out like volcano, he nearly killed his wife with a blow.
---“Are you beating me because of her?” wept Akisi, “Is it because her breasts are not bigger than mine?” poor Akisi wept bitterly that even her husband Madusa felt uneasy.
---“What is it woman? Is this the first time to beat you up? By the way, you’re just consuming my fish and corn cake for nothing, why can’t you bear me children? Huh! Aren’t you a woman?” Layola intervened because she was now the source of all the blames.
---“Nothing to worry Akisi, I am not here to take away your husband from you, I am here to help you build a better family. After nine months of pregnancy, you will surely bear him a bouncing baby boy. Trust me, the end of your shame has come, you will never drop your tears because of not bearing children, you will cry for labor”.
“What?” shouted Akisi, “me pregnant? Hahahahaaaaaaa! You must be kidding, that is impossible. You must be dreaming, Hahahahaaaaaaa! Let me wait and see”. It was very hard for Akisi to believe any of the words spoken by Layola. Madusa was just quiet all this while, staring at Layola, his thoughts went far, he was imagining how sweet Layola might be, then he zoomed the idea of kissing her, without conscious, he laughed loudly “Hahahahaaaaaaa! Ahuuuuu” Akisi was shocked, but Layola knew exactly what was happening. They were making love, laughter!
     “Wake up Madusa, wake up…” Akisi was trying to awaken her husband, but Layola insisted not to wake him up, “don’t you want to be pregnant? Leave your husband alone; can’t you see he is busy? Leave him, after some hours he will get back, just go inside and sleep, I’ll watch over him, don’t worry my lady, everything gonna be alright”. So saying, Akisi left and retired to bed, it was already late. Layola peeped here and there, there was no one watching, she took off that shirt and bumped herself atop Madusa who was lying down the ground on a wrapper, and there they were, making love in broad midnight. To Madusa it was a dream, to Layola it was real. That was the way of the goddess, after a couple of minutes, Madusa was dead tired, he woke up, and he could not believe what had been happening several minutes ago. He was smiling, gazing at her, he laughed.
---Why are you laughing Madusa?
---Hahahaaaa, you know… you know…
---What is it, tell me?
---I don’t know how to put it, but I have really enjoyed.
---Enjoyed what?
---What something?
---Something very sweet.
---Something very sweet? And what is that?
---It’s right there… (Pointing his trigger finger at Layola)
---Where? (Layola asked looking at the direction of Madusa’s finger)
---Between your thighs, there is something very sweet in there, Hahahaaaa!
---Hahahaaaa! (They both laughed)
---I have an idea…
---What is it?
---Will you marry me?
---What? (Layola was a bit fumed, as if she didn’t expect it from Madusa)
---It’s just an idea; don’t take it serious my lady. I’m just confused, but I’m sure this is love, its love that I’m feeling… please think about it.
---What about Akisi?
---Ah! Akisi is not a problem actually; the problem is your beauty. See, if you marry me, and bear me children, I will love you wholeheartedly, and I will treat you handsomely, just say yes… just say yes.
---Akisi is pregnant as we speak.
---Yes, she is…
---Hold it there, let me go and see… this can’t be happening.
     Madusa left in a hurry, he rushed inside only to find Akisi in a deep sleep. Akisi… Akisi… Akisi wake up, Akisiiiii… Is she dead? Asked Madusa who was still naked; “She can’t hear you now, but trust me, she is pregnant.” Intervened Layola; “Really?” Oh yes, she is pregnant. So saying, Madusa left the room and went to the kitchen. He was really hungry, but there was nothing to eat. He only met with empty plates and sauce pans. “So, there is no food in this house? This doesn’t sound good, what a bad omen?” While still in the kitchen, Madusa was surprised to see a hand picking the fire woods, set fire and started cooking. Suddenly there was a smell of delicious traditional cuisine. That hand was pealing onions, chopping tomatoes and other fries; he saw two big tilapias being roasted.
     Everything was happening so fast that he thought he was dreaming. In a twinkling of an eye, the food was on the table. The hand fetched water for washing hands from a barrel at the far corner of the kitchen and there he was washing his hands. He sat and started eating. Just like a dream, he finished his meal and washed his hands, he stood up with his hands akimbo. Still wondering what was happening; he saw the hand washing the dishes and packing them where they were before. The hand took the broom and started sweeping, after some seconds, the kitchen was as if nobody was there and nothing happened; “Uuuuuwiiii! Wololooo! Uuuuuuuwiiii….”
     Madusa shouted at the top of his voice, but nobody responded. Layola was just laughing, as if there was another woman in her, when she laughed, as if they were two. “Hahahaaaa, Hahahaaaa, Hahahahaaaaaaa!” She laughed. Finally, she stood upright, she stretched herself and elongated her hand, and she grasped Madusa like a stick and held him firmly. Madusa was half dead; the only thing he was able to say was a rapid “YES” whenever Layola asked him anything.
---You won’t tell anybody what you saw in the kitchen, you hear me?
---Yes sir!
---Idiot, I’m not sir… do you hear me?
---Yes sir, oh sorry… yes sir!
---Stupid, I’m not a man, now listen, you call me sir again, I kill you.
---Yes sir!
---Are you tired of your worthless life?
---No woman can do what you’re doing to me, you must be a superman.
---Shut up!
---Yes sir!
     Akisi was now awake; she heard of the conversation outside but didn’t hear clearly, Layola notice this, when Akisi was pushing the door, Layola dropped Madusa on the ground. Akisi was still in a daze, but she saw something unusual out there. Layola disappeared into thin air.
---Madusa? Called Akisi who was walking like a crocodile; “Madusa…?”
---Madusa my husband, what happened to you?
---The fish…
---Which fish?
---The fish… the fish from the lake, she… she… she is not human?
---Who, Layola?
---Yes, yes, yes…
---I knew it; I had a bad feeling about her the moment she stepped into this compound. Are you not asking yourself why papa died instantly after seeing her? She must be the devil if not Satan.
---No, no, no… the devil is even better; she is a monster, very beautiful monster. Do you know what she did to me?
---How can I know, tell me?
---She raped me!
---Yes, she raped me.
---That is much better, I thought you raped her, if she is the one who raped you no problem. Sometimes you men need monsters like Layola to rape you so that you may learn your lesson in real sense. Are you not satisfied with your women? Do you think Layola’s vagina is producing gold?
---But I really enjoyed, she even cooked for me.
---There was no food in the kitchen; she cooked what then for you, her buttocks?
---Not really, she prepared two big tilapias and…
---And what?
---Ugali, a well cooked Ugali.
---Did you drink anything?
---What was it?
---A glass of milk.
---We don’t even have glasses in our village. I am afraid to tell you this, but you must have been eating a human flesh and drunk a human blood.
---That’s impossible.
---Let’s go to the kitchen and see.
---Let’s go.
     Both Akisi and Madusa left for the kitchen, opening the door, they nearly fainted. It was him, Mr. Obare’s corpse was lying down the ground, his buttocks and manhood could not be seen. It seems Layola made tilapia out of them. Madusa could not prevent the inevitable, he vomited seriously, and so did Akisi. It was a hard time for the two couples, but still, Akisi was really pregnant. After several weeks, villagers started questioning the condition of their fellow fisherman, Madusa was very sick. He developed strange skin rashes and he resembled a python. He scared everybody including himself; this situation terrified Akisi. She wept day and night, wishing her parents were alive, maybe she would have asked for help from Gashura, but Chief Anguro and his wife died in action when the war broke out with the chief of Wabiriga.
     After six months of agonizing sadness, Madusa changed, he was not human again, he developed long canines and a tail, his trunk like that of a python, he was terrible. Elders gathered and decided to intervene; they were really determined to help the son of their friend. Abukabi was the eldest in the village; he summoned other elders including Aroko, Akuro, Anjugo and Mr. Osienya the shoemaker. The council of five sat and decreed that Akisi be exterminated before giving birth and her corpse to be offered as a sacrifice to Gulangoro, the chief god and patron of the living whose abode was the peak of Mt. Gula. Now the arrangements for her death were ready, all the elders and a band of fishermen gathered at Madusa’s homestead, Madusa was not told of the plan, he only knew that elders were there to perform some rituals for his sake, but little had he know that elders were determined to sacrifice his wife, he would have scared them away. There came a time when everything was as planned, but Aroko, the man who was appointed to kidnap Akisi was not yet there; so they were waiting. They waited…

At sixteen hours, Aroko arrived, he was already late. His fellow elders nearly ate him. “What were you doing Mr. Aroko? Alcohol again?” asked Anjugo who was already drank.
---Men, there’s a problem.
---What problem Aroko? Asked Mr. Osienya who was at his mid eighties.
---What? Screamed Abukabi who was one hundred and forty years old; his eyes nearly popped out.
---Yes, Layola is here, I saw her talking to Akisi outside.
---Which outside? Are we inside?
---Yes, we are inside Mr. Abukabi, we are inside, and she is outside talking.
---Mama yangu weee! … We are finished.
---What are we going to do now? Asked Akuro who was trembling like an earthquake, his jaws shaking like a generator. Are we going to die like the other time? Somebody tell me please?
---What are you talking about Mr. Akuro?
---I’m talking about Layola.
---We are already dead as we speak. Abukabi reminded his fellow elders and the band of fishermen who were inside that house.
---Already dead? We are still alive bwana! Aroko was still optimistic.
---Look at you…
---Look at what?
---Look at you now?
---I know how I look like, why looking at my own self again? What, are you seeing a ghost?
---Yes, I am seeing a ghost, a very stubborn ghost who doesn’t like to look at himself.
---If I am a ghost, then perhaps you’re a blind monster. Can’t you see your own ribs, Hahahaaaa! You look handsome Mr. Akuro.
---Oh yes, let me see those ribs you’re talking about… (Mr. Akuro gazed at his own body only to see he has changed into a skeleton) haaa, haaa, what is this? Uuuuuwiiii, Uuuuuwiiii, somebody help me?
     The commotion developed into something very terrible, everyone was running here and there shouting, asking for help. Everyone in that house turned to be a skeleton, they laughed at each other for the first time, but now they were trying to help each other, but they were very funny, they kept on laughing just like during their old days. Some were asking the whereabouts of their flesh. Actually, it was a comedy of some sort.
---Have you seen my buttocks? (Asked Mr. Osienya)
---Not really, perhaps Layola can answer that question, don’t you think so?
---Yeah! I think so Mr. Aroko.
---I can’t understand; but why is everyone a skeleton?
---A skeleton is always there, why are you afraid of your own skeleton? You should be happy to have seen your own internal morphology.
---Yes Mr. Osienya. You should be happy.
---Are you also happy Mr. Aroko?
---Happy? Is there anything to be happy about?
---What is it?
---Your skeleton.
---Stupid, what skeleton? Get out of here you scam, skeleton…
     They were confused, Layola took Akisi and they were on their way leaving Ratura, they were heading down the lake. Madusa was nowhere to be seen, it was nothing but chaos and confusion. The council of five sat, other fishermen also demanded to be included in the council. Abukabi welcomed them, now it was the council of skeletons. They decided to find Madusa and his wife. They took hoes, spades, machetes, paddles, stones and woods. Off they went, the council of skeletons, in a quest to find Madusa, in the hunt for Layola, determined to sacrifice Akisi… forward they marched… the council of skeletons.
     About thirty minutes later, they reached the banks of Alawan River, the largest tributary flowing into Mukuwang, the mouth of the great Kamurando that pours its water into Lake Ratura. The council marched, without haste, without rest. Reaching the shores of Lake Ratura, it was already late. Layola and Akisi were already far inwards, water level reaching their necks, the council shouted…
---What are you doing? Asked Anjugo, as if he was not seeing what was happening down there.
---Where are you going? Added Akuro, “Where is Madusa?” hey!
---Hey? Insisted Abukabi; but none of their efforts produced better results.
     Layola and Akisi submerged completely into the deeps of the lake as the skeletons watched. They remained there, with their arms akimbo, standing like electrical poles, as if something glued their feet, and they changed into trees and water weeds. After some minutes, Madusa arrived there, this time he was completely an animal, not a human again. He was like a snake-dog. Half a dog, half a snake; his four limbs like a stallion, barking like a dog, but he was an herbivore. He fed on grasses and leaves.
     Actually, he was a very scary and ugly animal, when he reached there to drink water, he saw the weeds and some trees nearby; he started grazing there and consumed all the green vegetation around. Little had he knows, that the very weed and trees he was eating were exactly the elders and his fellow fishermen, he could have wished to die instead of living in misery like that. After filling his belly, he drank water and left into wilderness. Poor Madusa! That was his destiny. He lived in the wilderness for the rest of his life, and there was no any other fisherman in the village. Melancholy!
---Then what happened grandpa? (Asked Lumbazi who was very cunning)
---That is what happened, Madusa died!
---What killed him?
---Death? That is ridiculous, why is death so cruel?
---Grandpa? Grandpa… grandpaaaaaa?
     King Rhombus passed on shortly after telling children what happened to Madusa the fisherman. Another phase of mourning raided the hearts of the little kids. Their first grandpa had just passed on four days earlier, now again King Rhombus, they hated the place. The house where an old man used to live disappeared with the corpse of the king. It rained heavily that night, it was thundering throughout. Children ascended to the pavilion, after seeing what happened to that little house of their grandpa just disappearing into the thin air, they came to the conclusion that, everything was just a dream. So, they waited for the dawn to wake up. All alone in the pavilion, just like the world orphans, they have got no one to call their mother or father. No place to call their home. They sat there and waited, they waited till they both fell asleep.
     They kept on waiting for the morning, but the rising sun was nowhere to be seen. Although the situation weakened their morale, but they waited for the fullness of time; and there came a time when it dawned, they only came to find that they were late for school. Their mother came there to wake them up; actually, they were late for school.
---Hey you little warthogs, look at their buttocks, mosquitoes must have sucked your bitter blood to the maximum, wake up you idiots!
---Wake up, wake up… wake up you Indian cockroaches. (The woman grabbed the bed sheet which smelled like rotten menstrual blood, raw shit, hyena’s semen and a donkey’s piss combined.)
---You belong to which kingdom; Monera, Protista or Plantae?
---Don’t wake me up! (Screamed one of the boys)
---Hey you anthropoids, wake up?
---Mom, you’re too much. You talk like a parrot, aren’t you tired?
---Are you not going to school?
---Which school, are we students?
---No, you are teachers. Now get up before I circumcise you with a piece of glass. Don’t you know you’re in the middle of your national examinations?
---We know mom!
---We are going!
---Which subject are you doing today?
---And what is Biology?
---Is a branch of science which deals with the study of stubborn mothers… hahahaaa! (They laughed at their mother in a joking way)
---Pathetic! You must be out of your mind, or perhaps your mind is out of you, idiots. If you answer that, your worthless lives are doomed. Now get ready edentates. Shame upon you; stupid tamanduas, worthless arachnids, foolish aardvarks, toothless sloths, blind armadillos, sick pangolins… sons of an ape! You must be sick in the head. You are alone, if you don’t struggle for success, your stupidity and laziness will bring no food on the table. You must toil, you must labor, and you must sweat. The world is corrupted, but you must live; and you must live big. Being number one is everything, no second places, no second sucks. You must win! Remember, the world works with three people; the connected ones, the talented ones and the educated ones, you must get the light for the riches of this world are hidden far away from the hands of darkness. Go and get the light my titans!
---Thank you mom!
---You’re welcome!
     They left for the school and their stubborn mother as they thought wished them the best in their examinations. Off they went, with their school bags at their backs, filled with boiled sweet potatoes and a bottle of condensed milk. Just like their dream grandpa, they were always that way; the ways of the grandchildren, sliver by sliver; without haste, without rest.
The End


    Current date/time is Mon May 21, 2018 10:03 am